By: Chelsea Marshall
Thesis: there is no way that this….
1. Had anything to do with this:
3. Literally everything about the pug calls into question the theory of evolution:
4. Then we have this husky who still hasn’t learned the rules of the cat tree.
5. Half of these dogs have yet to evolve. At best, this proves evolution to be uncertain.
7. No matter how cute they are, dogs do make you wonder…
9. Look, normally I’m like “YAAAS, EVOLUTION!” but look at this joker:
10. Even if he never met a sprinkler, he’s met WATER before.
11. Girl. Come on, you’re better than this.
12. I’d like to pause and reflect that this:
Came from this:
*didn’t actually come from this.*
13. As did this little guy who just so readily walked through this world blind.
14. And this guy who has no idea what to do with any water bigger than a cup.
15. Oh, come ON, Golden. YOU’RE BETTER THAN THIS.
16. IS SCIENCE JUST A LIE?
19. I feel like this guy *almost* convinces me of evolution but…
21. And this guy who hasn’t learned HE CAN STAND UP.
22. Okay, I guess his cute factor has defended him against the elements…
23. Same deal with this guy. But you wouldn’t even be able to trust him to stand watch for two seconds.
24. This climber who, over time, forgot how to climb.
25. More appallingly is this gal would would not survive the forest her ancestors once lived. Sorry.
26. No one should be this obsessed with their balls.
You might be thinking, “Humans are no better!” and you’re completely correct.
27. After all this time, you’re telling me that an evolved being can’t understand 3D??
28. Or just anything to do with shapes and space and just being physically part of this world?
29. Okay, so lasers are relatively new to dogs, I’ll give them that. BUT WHY DOES HE EVEN WANT A LITTLE DOT LIKE THAT? WHY IS HE WASTING HIS TIME?
30. Oh and this guy being owned by a cat? ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS NONSENSE, DOG?
31. Okay, I’l give this guy points for attempting to be brave.
32. But why would any highly evolved species allow this kind of behavior?
33. Or this accidental turtle.
34. I mean, this in general. I get it: anal glands. But this shouldn’t be a thing anymore.
36. And, okay, I’m sorry but this priss would probably get in a fight with a single fly and LOSE.
37. I don’t know what this is but it does not bode well for evolution.
38. This guy who I guess is trying a new way of catching his tail but WHY ARE YOU TRYING THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE, PETER?
39. You know who would never make this pre-sex burrito mistake?